Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I am Inspired....My testimony

Have you ever been in a place where you felt you were on an island all unto yourself but there were people all around you. You had this deserted feeling, knowing your not a castaway but in a place of quiet reserve where no one could understand how you were truly feeling within. Grief feels like this. No one can really describe what one experiences because its different for each individual.

I've experienced grief. It's not a great feeling or place to be in. It is often a very lonely place. No one quite understands where you are in the process because its always cycling. It is even hard for the person who is grieving at times to gauge. What I learned in my last experience is how I desperately desired to talk to Jesus about my feelings but how difficult I found it to formulate a thought. All I knew was, I was sad. I tried numerous times. With each time I cried because I did not know what to do, my mind was a blank slate. Nothing was there just sadness.

I truly felt as if I was on a deserted island all unto myself, although there were many people around me. One evening, a friend of mine was on Face book and I asked him to pray for me. He asked me what was going on and I shared with him that which I am sharing with you now. He said, I want to share something with you and he posted the sermon by Pastor Cymbala, (which I posted for everyone on our main page). He said you have to watch the whole sermon.

I watched it. I let him know when I finished. The sermon touched me deeply. My friend said. I asked you to watch the sermon because I wanted you to know that I have been going to battle for you. And I want you to understand that you are covered in prayer.

Prayer family, it was not enough that God used him that evening. It was Friday night, the sun had set and Sabbath was here. I went to church the following morning and God spoke through the pastor regarding prayer. Daniel 6:10-17. When I left the church that afternoon, the Holy Spirit said simply "Shana talk to me. I want you to talk to me."

Understand, hours passed by, not because I didn't want to talk to God, but because I was looking for my voice. It wasn't until midnight when I got into my bed, I laid there and the same thing which happened before the blank slate feeling came again and tears welled up in my eyes. I said to God, I want to talk to you but I don't know how to move past the pain and sadness. Please help me. Show me how. The words did not flow out quickly. Matter of fact it was only 5 to 8 words and that was it.

God took his time and comforted me and helped me to move past the pain and sadness of my loss. I share this with you because I am inspired too.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Forever, O Lord, Your Word is settled in heaven, Your faithfulness endures to all generations. He (God) sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return unto Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. And He (the Word) prayed in John 17:4. I have glorified You on earth. I have completed the work, You sent Me to do. And on the cross, the Word cried out "It is finished". And He God has already said, "I am alert and active, watching over My word to perform it"


He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18

He is healing me... I am inspired.

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