I began this week with one of my students who struggles with conflict resolution. She is determined to settle all her issues with beat downs. I finally said to her that you young lady have not time to waste. Your on your last leg literally in this school and one minor infraction and you will oust yourself right out of school with only 35 days left of the year. I told her in simple terms in which she understands, XXX, you are to have No Distractions, No Attractions, and No Infractions. This is your mantra for the next 35 days. (Unbeknownst to her it only takes 21 days to make or break a habit) I'm helping her daily to make this a good habit. In doing this, I realized that I not only was speaking to her but God in turn was speaking to me.
"Nothing, Reshana, can distract you from your purpose". Nothing! absolutely, positively nothing. (emphasis mine). So, I have paid close attention to all that has transpired in the last few weeks of my life. My youngest son, who is distracted by demonic activity but gives them other names such as anger, frustration, etc, my eldest son who seems to have lost a sensible respect for me and doesn't realize it until a day or so later when he calls and apologizes, and my daughter who although successful in her education, has a issue with appreciation of the blessings God has bestowed upon her, and me dealing with the demon called depression who continually works at keeping me focused on the loss of my father instead of me celebrating the legacy he left behind that has passed along to me.
I had been struggling since mid March, a quietness came over me and hovered there for a while, I could'nt pray, or I didn't want to pray but in my mind I knew God could see beyond the exterior into what was really going on in my heart. He reminded me of conversations I had with a friend who said "God hurts with you and he understands your anger, he understands your not wanting to talk to Him, He understands" it was then that I began to remember that My Father knows me, He loves me and I love Him, and we have a relationship that is just for us. During this time, I also realized that I did not know what I liked to do for pleasure anymore. I couldn't remember the things that made me happy, the things I liked to do. I talked to God and told him I'm lost within myself. I have forgotten the things I love. I turned my head and looked toward my plants. I touched the leaves, put my hand in the soil and I remembered, I love the smell of fresh soil on plants, I love the things that are alive and support life, I love to read and write but I had not taken time to do so. I began to remember.
I purposely purchased two books, one for pleasure and one that was recommended for my youngest son to read. The first book called The Shack and the other called This Present Darkness. I devoured The Shack it was so good. A wonderful page turner. I gleaned alot from that experience. However, when I decided I would read the second book this disdain came over me and I couldn't pick up the book lest known read it. Every time I passed the book, I would hear a light voice say read the book. I knew who the voice belong too. I replied, something is keeping me from picking this book up. It was about a week later, the light voice returned and said read the book. So I moved past what I was feeling and picked up the book. I opened the book and began reading and this overwhelming heaviness sat on me. I put the book down and the heaviness lifted. I didn't pick the book up again until a few days later. I read past my feelings, fears and anxieties. The book was slow to me in the beginning, and I was losing interest. But again the light voice said keep reading. I reached chapter 5 and my eyes began to open. I understood that depression had called complacency to assist him in keeping me from reading this book.
I read last night and fatigue came over me, I prayed and continued to read, in the middle of the chapter I was impressed to call my youngest son and have a conversation with him about not giving up or giving in to anything or anyone who was not of God. He understood. He shared that he was praying more, talking to God more and reading His word. I told him to continue to do this, because your battle is not against flesh and blood son, its against the rulers and principalities and spirits in high places. He asked me to continue to pray for him and we hung up the phone. I prayed, and prayed and prayed some more...after awhile, I began to break out in these red blotches on my skin. My body became itchy and I got out of bed and laid hands on myself. Rebuking the enemy in Jesus name. Anointed myself, prayed some more and went back to reading the book.
I share this experience with you for one purpose and one purpose only, that you would not be deceived. Satan is REAL. He dispatches legions of demons to distract us from the call God has on our lives. That is his soul purpose for his existence here. To take any and everyone he can out with him to death. He attacks those who fight against him in prayer and supplication to God. He works to wear down the Saints of God. I realized for over a month I had been giving in to my feelings. Giving in to depression and to those spiritual things that are not of God. The Holy Spirit never left my side, I was protected the entire time but it was my responsibility to choose whom I was going to listen too. I am thankful that I know the voice of God and that I adhere to Him.
I share those experiences regarding my children not to oust them in anyway but to hopefully be a witness to you that demons show up in any fashion in which to keep you off kilter. He comes through life experiences, trials, tribulations, friends, family, co-workers, Pastors, Elders, Deacons, Members, Politicians, Racism, Movies, Music, Even YOU. You name it, if you give him a venue he is going to take it. Keep praying for those you love, your prayers don't die. Prayers of my family members before me are still being answered today, and when I am gone my prayers will be answered as well until God returns. If you don't glean anything else from this testimony, glean this, No Distractions, No Attractions and No Infractions. Remember the story of Sampson and Delilah.
Blessings my friends, and to close, I would like to share that God has shown me the deliverance of my youngest son, and promised me years ago through his word Isaiah 54:13 that, "All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace". That is a promise my friends, one that I remember and hold on too when what I see doesn't come close to what is promised. Thank God seeing is not Believing. Hold on until your change comes.