Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Fear and Trembling

I'm a Christian. I've been a Christian since 1996 although I knew of God in my childhood. I was baptized into the Baptist denomination as a child under the care of my mother. She instilled in my siblings and I the importance of a foundation. Not just any foundation but one that is built upon the Rock, the Rock of Jesus Christ. So, I knew God.

Now as an adult I find myself in a very different area in my relationship with my friend and Savior. Trembling would best describe what is going on within me. From the top of my head to the soles of my feet, my every being is trembling. I have a better understanding of the saying, Work out your Soul Salvation with fear and trembling". Philippians 2:12

So, why am I trembling? I am trembling at the thought of not being saved. (I will allow you to meditate on this for a moment)

I'm 36 years young and since I was a child I believed everyone had to go before the Ancient of Days for them self in Judgement. I pictured this big ending to the world, everyone standing, fearfully awaiting their turn to stand and be judged  and found just or unjust, sinner or saved. This ideology has been BLOWN clear out of the water for me tonight. So much so, I am shaking! You must be asking yourself why is she shaking. I'm shaking because I realized the Judgement that I thought I understood to be true is not going to take place at the end of the world because it is going on right now. For some reason my mind did not understand this before tonight. Either I did not understand the Word of God or maybe I was reading in the wrong places. However, my eyes have been opened. The house of God has to be judged first. Why did I think this was going to happen at the end, I dunno. But now I am beginning to  understand the 2ND advent and what it really means

I understand why John says "If any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous" 1 John 2:1. Jesus is pleading for(me and you) the subjects of His grace, Satan accuses them(me and you) before God as transgressors. My lone thought was, "Oh God" please do not let me be found wanting. This is so serious, everything and when I say everything I really mean EVERYTHING, is taken into account, some examples are every secret thing whether it be good or whether is be evil, every idle word we speak we give an account for, wasted moments unimproved opportunities, the influence exerted for good or for evil and its FAR-REACHING RESULTS. (that alone is enough to make one vomit, such as myself) These are just a few. Just like every good deed is recorded every evil deed is too.

Now, I'm not trembling because I don't believe my name is not in the book of life, I trembling because I want to be sure my name remains in the book of life, no one knows when his or her name is going to come before God, is there anything that I have not repented for, ask for forgiveness for that would remove my name from the book of life. One sin not repented of can wipe out all of your righteous deeds. (Again, something to think about) Now your probably saying, That is not the kind of God I serve. My God is a forgiving God. I will not disagree with this, He is a forgiving God, his word says so, however, you have to do your part and ask for the forgiveness so you can receive the forgiveness. You can only be pardoned if you ask to be.

So, you see why this is so important. I couldn't sleep tonight because I was going over in my thoughts, my life, my actions, my deeds, my misgivings, my unfinished business, broken promises, idled time, unimproved opportunities, and sinful deeds. My love, good deeds, the talents I have been given and questioning if I have used them and not buried them.  I needed to share this with you.

The law of God is the standard by which the characters and the lives of men will be tested in the judgement says the wise man: "Fear God and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man for God shall bring every work into judgement." Ecclesiastes 12:13,14

 For other reference read Malachi 3:16, Revelation 20:12, Luke 10:20, and Philippians 4:3 however there are so many more.

I leave you with this, and this is my prayer, "Remember me, O my God, concerning this, and do not wipe out my good deeds that I have done for the house of my God and for his service." Nehemiah 13:14.

I hope this provides you with insight enough to take into account from this moment forward how you intend to carry out your life. I'm also speaking to MYSELF!

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